Category: Shadow Work

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Thinking Outside of The Box

Well, I’ve made it through another year. Another year older. Hmmm…

I think I’ll look at it as another year wiser. It’s amazing what we can learn in a year.

I’m continuing to evolve spiritually. While the post today has nothing to do with Hashimotos, it does have to do with healing. I’m learning that when we dig deep into our self, our soul, our being, we begin to understand how it is that dis-ease finds a way to manifest in our bodies.

I’ve been reading the lost books of the Bible. I’m amazed at the early teachings that were omitted from the Bible. While I don’t intend this post to become a debate in religion, I must say that we have been cheated. Humanity has been kept from the greatest gift in learning. If you have the chance, I suggest you start reading them. Quite enlightening. Maybe that’s the reason the Church doesn’t want us to read them.

Reading these books has prompted me to ask more questions about myself. Where I came from, what my purpose here is. How does everything fit together? The universe, God, humanity, ancient history. There are so many things we don’t know. To be honest, I think some of what we do know, those things fed to us by those in control, can’t be true.

Back to spirituality. In questioning the early history of our planet, I’ve come to realize that the mystery school teachings have a valid place in our reality. Of course, there is a God. He is part of us. He exists in each one of us. If you think about what Jesus (Yeshua) taught, it makes sense that we are more than we have been led to believe. He told us to be like Him. He taught us that we could multiply loaves, turn water to wine, walk on water, among other things. Jesus said God is within us. I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this.

Well, I’m not going to teach a lesson in religion. As a matter of fact, Yeshua, despised religion. I only wanted to make a point. And that point is, if we expand our minds, we can do anything. As we become more in tune with ourselves, and learn how to control what and how we think, the possibilities are endless. Part of me wonders if that’s why the Church tells us that yoga is evil. Yoga teaches you how to focus, to be in the present moment. It teaches you how to control what you think, and how to move your body so you can work through all the trauma you’ve experienced.

I’m not a yoga expert. But I understand what I read. And anything I’ve read about yoga and meditation tells us that it is when we control our minds, how and what we think, we will be free from the matrix that has kept us enslaved. If we take control of our minds, stop watching and listening to the media, that is brainwashing us to be puppets, we will be surprised at the freedom we will enjoy.

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Meditation Options

So, I started my Qi Gong practice. With it, comes meditation. While I do the simple meditation that is part of the practice, I include focused mediation in my daily routine. It took me a while to ecide which worked best for me butafter some trial and error I decided on the focused mediation. Below I listed some forms of meditation you can research. The list is growing.

But I’ll start with what appears to be the most popular options

•             mindfulness meditation

•             Visualization meditation

•             focused meditation

•             movement meditation

•             mantra meditation

•             spiritual meditation

I looked at mindful meditation and understand it originates with the Buddhists. It appears to be the most popular form of meditation practiced in the West. In this form of meditation, you focus your attention on your thoughts as they pass. Observe them without judgement. Observe any patterns while combining concentration with awareness. This practice is a good one to do alone, without a teacher.

Visualization is the practice of that focuses on physical feelings associated with the body and emotions where you focus on feeling relaxed, peaceful, and being calm. I

Focused Meditation utilizes the five senses. You can focus on the breath. Or you can focus on something external like counting mala beads, staring at the flame of a candle, moon gazing or listing to a gong. As a beginner you may find it difficult to focus for more than a couple minutes at a time.

Movement Meditation includes things like walking, gardening, Qi Gong, and Tia Chi. I use this in Qi Gong. While you move focus on the parts of your body as you move. It’s amazing what you feel.

Mantra Meditation is a forma of mediation you see in Hindu and Buddist traditions. With Mantra meditation you focus on a specific word or phrase as you breathe.

Spiritual Mediation could be a means to connecting with a higher power. A form of worship or prayer. It focuses on developing a deeper understanding of spiritual/religious meaning.

There are other forms of meditation. These however, are the most widely known or understood as meditation practice. You should research each form and determine which works best for you.

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I Pick Qi Gong… For Now

Here we go, 2021!

Another new year is upon us, and with it will come more challenges. I don’t use this platform to discuss the views of the world, because I think we get enough of that in other areas. My goal here is to focus on our inner work.

You got it. Starting in 2021, I will be sharing my continued spiritual journey.

There are those who might scoff at this idea, but I believe we are coming into a time where we will all need to raise our vibration. We were reminded in October, that we are all energy. We are born into our bodies, energy that has always existed, yet has changed forms many times throughout our third dimensional reality. I know some of you don’t subscribe to this idea. That’s okay. But please be respectful of those who wish to read this, in your comments.

So, expanding on the idea that energy can’t be created or destroyed, we realize that we must have always existed in some form. Whether it be in this space/time/dimension, or some another field.

Taking the idea of energy a bit further. We know our thoughts are also energy. Let’s consider for a moment that energy, vibration, and frequency are the keys to the universe. If that statement is true, then we are ruled by these keys. Knowing that we are energy, it stands to reason that when we think we are emitting energy called thoughts. Those thoughts or energy is released into the universe as soon s we think them.

If we think the same though over and over, then we will attract that energy.

So this year I’m going to focus on thinking about what I want my life to be. Not what is was in the past. No more looking in the rear view mirror. From now on, we look ahead, while focusing on and living in the present.

One of the ways we can do this is by focusing on us. I don’t mean that in a selfish way. I mean it in the sense that we need to listen to our bodies. We need to remember who we are, who were meant to be, who we’ve always been. We have been living in a state of amnesia. In more than one way.

It’s time to wake up. In focusing on our self, we will reveal our true nature by healing our trauma. Whether it be trauma from childhood, or past lives. Or even our family lineage. By healing our wounds, we will awaken our soul self and remember true love.

So, this month I began this journey by choosing a modality of exercise. You can choose whatever resonates with you. Running, yoga, take a spin class, walking, biking. There are many options. I’m going to begin with Qi Gong. I find it easy to connect to myself, to listen and understand. I focus on the energy as I move and breathe. By focusing on each movement I am living in the now and “feeling” present.

I will start with that, for now. We’ll see how I do.

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When Stress Isn’t Stress

One of the struggles for people with Hashimotos, is stress. When stress enters our life it affects the whole endocrine system. This is one of the reasons I take ashwaghanda and holy basil.

One of the things those of us with Hashimotos are told is, learn how to manage your stress. That being said sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and there is nothing you can do about the stress, except ride out the storm. I’m going through one such storm now.

In 2017 I found out my spouse was keeping a big secret from me. This in addition to a habit that left me uncomfortable among other things. I’m not going to go into details about what was done, because, even though I’m hurt and disappointed, and I’ve also been left traumatized, I’m not vengeful.

For the last 2 years I’ve struggled because I stayed with my spouse, hoping he would make amends, and make things right. He did not. Last fall I asked him to leave. It took until this month to get him to finally leave.

I share this information only to bring to light another form of trauma. One that affects many more people than we know. Yes, betrayal trauma. It is a thing.

For years I thought the symptoms that present with Hashimotos were only related to that. However, I have come to realize that the symptoms I had long before I was diagnosed with Hashimotos, were symptoms of betrayal trauma. While I’m not going to share here the story of betrayal, I’d like to share a little about betrayal trauma.

Betrayal trauma is the impact of being traumatized emotionally by a person close to you who has violated the trust of the victim. In my case it was my spouse.

Because the betrayal is so personal in nature, it can be more destabilizing that strictly fear based trauma (I don’t discount fear based trauma. It is terrible too). Betrayal trauma has also been associated with the following:

•             Anxiety

•             Hypervigilance

•             Feeling overwhelmed

•             Withdrawal & isolation

•             Difficulty concentrating

•             Difficulty regulating intense emotions

•             Avoidance

•             Flashbacks

•             Negative thoughts

•             Numbness & detachment

•             Sleep & appetite disturbances

•             Headaches (I had migraines all the time)

I can tell you the above list is pretty accurate. My experience included most of those on the list.

When he left, a wave of emotions passed over me. I cried tears of relief for the first day. I’m hoping I can heal from this trauma now that he’s gone. It may take a while, but I’m determined I won’t live the rest of my life like this.

If you think you have experienced a similar trauma, please know you’re not alone. I’m going to work through this, you can too.